Determined For Triumph

Hey, guys. Last time I wrote a post, it was 2017. Happy New Year to all of you again and I wish you all the best along the way. I also apologize again for missing the last post, I was occupied by a now eight-year-old (a soon to be niece, four years from now maybe) girl and she tends to be dedicated to disrupting every part of me that's "boring." So, when she's here during my blog time, I'll probably be late.

For this blog, I wanted to take the time to go more in depth about my goals in 2018. More-so ones that I didn't mention that's important to me. I can't go further without telling you how good and how brightly poised I am here in 2018. I just feel like so much is possible and so much will be accomplished. The last year was a year of test and trials, but God was there with me and I maintained and endured all with the power he gave me. And I know it was so he could strengthen my character, allowed me to strengthen my faith, and equip myself with all the tools needed to fulfill the writing job he has for me.

I'll start with my writing goals in 2018. I know they say to "write every day," I'm actually going to devote to writing everyday this year. So far, I've done just that. I think this has been a healthier approach for me given how I'm this obsessed, career-oriented, goal-oriented, and passionate person. I tend to be very hard on myself, harder than anyone else could be on me and I just want to manage that better. It's going to be a hard habit to break, my circumstances have wired me like that. All the things I was passionate about, no one ever put the time in with me. So, what I lacked, I did my best to fill the void. I pushed myself because no one wanted to push me. Like, my girlfriend will try to motivate me and I'd be like, "I don't need nobody motivating me, I motivate myself. All I got to do is look in the mirror and say go get it." Even though I'm joking with this next one, there would be times when I'd say, "I don't need nobody to whoop my ass, I'll whoop my own ass," and literally start whooping my own ass to make my point concrete (I told you guys I had some problems). Which, it’s part of the person I am today and that will probably never disappear. I mean, when you can always count on yourself to pull through and get it down without having to plead someone else, how would you be? I just want to stop the aspect of it where I mentally scold myself. I don't deserve that and that can only grow more and more unhealthy down the road. 

Back on the writing goals, I definitely want to write and complete three feature scripts this year. I already know what they are. One of the three (my fourth overall, that's right!), I'll have the first draft completed by the end of this month, and many rewrites to follow of course (the writer me at his best). I'm very happy with it so far, definitely the darkest, most disturbing film I've ever written. But, its message needs to be seen and heard by young people because it is an ugly truth to this lustful, greedy, and cruel world we live in. This script is for a later date though. My goal is to get my first two scripts produced to establish myself and my identity. Then I'll flip everyone on their heads with this darker natured story. I don't know about you other writers, but I'm all about good timing. I write stories within the real world, based around experiences of the young black man and the issues that plague us. Whatever I commit to writing, I write with the intention of it being made into a film. Along with that, I have this instinct of knowing what's the right script for the climate, and my first two scripts are what're needed the most right now. We lack young black men in films that inspire, empower, or simply just debunks the stereotypical young person (I definitely am not that, I'm weird as shit and so are many others). I won't send off any other movie scripts until those get fair consideration to be made because I know they can be, and I know there's a place for these films. Plus, no one’s making films like this for the young black man. No one is thinking to either, it's all about building "capital," not a lasting movement (which should be normal eventually and not a movement), or building a future. I don't need to be a millionaire (90-100 thousand per script, that's good enough for me), an Oscar winner (I don't need that for recognition, that's what my people are for), or a big name (funny how these names get smaller and smaller to me) to write films that impact people’s lives for the better, and I will not be forced to think otherwise.

Moving on to another goal of mine, I want to make more of an effort to support my people. If we don't do it, no one else will. We live in a society that was built to keep us down, a society that criminalizes us, that criticizes us, that systemizes us, that brutalizes us, that scrutinizes (I know y'all seen that bullshit H&M put out... disgusted) us, and internally paralyzes us. But when we come together and support one another, we sterilize all that shit away (you can be honest of that shit was bad... kind of felt like it was bad, but you get it). So far this year, I've supported a young black photographer on twitter that's looking for work. And recently, I came across this tweet about this man named Frederick Joseph who started a go fund me page so little black girls and boys can see Black Panther at the movies. That to me is so beautiful. When I was those kids age, there was nobody doing anything remotely close to that in my area... and there still isn't (And the area has gotten far worse). Giving I'm still jobless, I could only donate $10 (it's the thought that counts, right?). To see such a thing be supported in 2018 warms my hearth though. Think about how much this film will impact these little black boys and girls. We as a people have never had this, the sky is the limit, man. I want to support young black people, even if it's not me. I definitely know how no support and no acknowledgement feels (and being ignored, and...), but that doesn't mean I continue that cycle. Back in 2017, I donated to some films by young black men who I believed in (and still do). I reached out to them for support, I am shunned. However, I don't allow that to jade my heart because it's the big picture that matters. I will continue to support those individuals and other films in 2018.

Yeah these are the two main goals I want to touch on with you guys. I hope my they inspire you to follow suit because these goals are goals that benefit not me, but us. That's too key in these times we're living in. We don't live in a time where we can be selfish, it won't benefit you in the long run, just saying.

Well, that's all I have for this blog, guys. I'll be back at it next Sunday, and I'm sure something is going to put me back on my full-blown spaz mode. H&M just about did it, but I decided to cut that portion out of this post. What can I say? It was the God in me that told me not to do it.